Terrifying Emotional Components

“You see how I live: shadows and silence, leaving things as I find them because I have no reason to disturb them. But there are things that I have known, even though I never wished to know them and cannot give them a name.”

― Thomas Ligotti , Grimscribe: His Lives and Works

On many occasions, our journey takes us into the deep waters of suffering.

I am swimming deep into the depths. I have already discovered sunken wisdom; exposed crystalline shards of sadness and grief. At first, they appear to be flaws in the fundamental construction of my identity. Ego scaffolding grown rusty, ready to collapse at any moment, revealing what exists hidden below the surface.

Wisdom can be deadly.

It folds open, like some unknown life form, tendrils spilling out that cause revulsion upon contact. Experience communion with wonder enough times and you realise it is corrosive. The opportunity remains that this may offer connection to the sacred in a new and miraculous manner. Here I am, standing in a giant deep pit, witnessing the excavation of trauma and the fears I have long held, deep in the trenches of my heart.